Christmas Carols Redux
by jackwabbit
Summary: Short, unrelated, mostly holiday stories based on advent calendar windows from Ancient Obsessions. Various characters. SG-1, SGA, Eureka, Harry Potter, Sanctuary, Firefly, Farscape, Being Human UK, and Star Trek Voyager represented. Summaries inside.
1. Revenging Angel

**Revenging Angel**

Fandom: Stargate SG-1

Rated: G

Category: Double Drabble. Drama, Humor, Daniel POV.

Season: Eight.

Spoilers: Reckoning, Part II.

Summary: One would be wise not to anger angels. Really. Even if you're RepliCarter.

Disclaimer: Just playing in the gateroom. Don't mind me.

Note: Written for the 2011 Ancient Obsessions December 1 Advent Prompt: Angel.

xxx

You're searching my memory for Ancient secrets.

So much so that you forget that my human memory has knowledge to share as well.

Quite a lot of it, in fact, because frankly I'm a pretty well-read guy.

Especially when it comes to religious texts. Jack would say I'm a bit of a geek about those, and he'd be right. I've read the major religious texts of my world and a dozen others countless times.

So I know my Bible pretty well.

For example, I know that there are many types of angels. From fiery Seraphim to sparkling Virtues, each has their place, including the Archangels: Michael, Raphael, and Gabriel.

It's Michael that comes to mind now.

And the irony of this situation isn't lost on me.

I think Jack thought of me as some sort of an angel when I was ascended, and though that's far from accurate and I'm certainly not ascended now, I'm as close to a guardian - no, _revenging_ - angel as Earth has in this mess. And while it was Michael who famously fought for humans, I've got a little surprise for you, Miss Very-Much-_Not_ Samantha Carter.

Michael's story?

Yeah, it's told in the Book of _Daniel._


	2. Game Changer

**Game Changer**

Fandom: Stargate SG-1

Rated: PG

Category: Humor, Gen, Team Fic with Sam Focus.

Season: Post-Arc of Truth, Pre-S5 SGA. (Carter is a Colonel, Hammond is retired.)

Spoilers: None.

Summary: A surprise for Sam leads to another for someone else.

Word Count: 615

Disclaimer: Just playing in the gateroom. Don't mind me.

Note: Written for the 2011 Ancient Obsessions December 2 Advent Prompt: Three Kings.

xxx

Sam wasn't expecting to see three cars in the drive, but despite the fact that it looked like he had company, she knocked on the door anyway. She only needed to drop off the book she'd borrowed last time he was in town, and that would only take a moment. She'd thought briefly about leaving it in the mailbox, but it looked like rain and it was a nice book, so she went ahead and rapped her knuckles on the wood loudly.

When the door opened, she got a bigger surprise than the cars.

"Sir?" she stammered.

A kindly smile met her question. "At ease, Colonel. I'm retired now, remember?" said General Hammond, grinning from ear to ear.

Sam opened and shut her mouth a few times before finally answering.

"Yes, sir," she managed, which only caused the General to smile even wider.

"Is that the food?" came a voice from behind Hammond.

"Not quite," he answered, opening the door wider as Jack O'Neill's head appeared over his shoulder.

Jack immediately stood up straighter when he saw Sam. "Oh. Carter. Hey. What'cha doing?"

Sam looked between the two men for a moment before answering.

"I just came to return this," she said, holding out the book.

Jack took it and quickly stuck it under one arm. "Oh, uh.. thanks."

Just then, another voice joined the conversation.

"You two going to stand out there all day or can we get back to business?"

Sam's eyes grew wide as she recognized the third voice.

"General Landry?" she asked, craning her head around the doorframe to get a look into Jack's living room. This had the effect of putting most of her body in the house. Hammond wisely stepped aside to allow this, still smiling.

Meanwhile, Jack got sarcastic, as usual.

"Well, come on in, why don't ya, Carter?" he said, but if she heard him, she ignored his remark. She had good reason for this, as Landry answered for himself.

"Sure is," he said. "Is that Samantha Carter I hear?"

"Yes, sir," Sam answered.

"Well, come on in," Landry called. "We'll make a game of this after all!"

Sam blinked and looked at Jack. She raised one eyebrow in a silent question.

Jack shrugged. "The more the merrier," he said.

Sam stepped fully into the house and saw that Landry was sitting at a folding card table that had been set up in the living room. A deck of playing cards was clearly visible in his hands.

Sam nodded to him. "What's the game?"

"Poker," he answered.

Jack sniggered very quietly behind Sam's back, but Landry was oblivious.

For her part, Sam merely blinked and said, "No, I mean, what's the _game_?"

Landry blinked back for a second before realizing what Sam meant. "Oh, Texas Hold 'Em," he stammered. "I think. We staying with that, George?"

Hammond nodded and reclaimed his seat. "Damn straight," he answered.

Jack took his seat as well, then motioned to the empty chair opposite him.

"What'd'ya say, Carter? You in?"

Landry was the only one who didn't notice the slight glint in Jack's eyes as he asked, and that really was a shame, because he was also the only one who'd never played cards with Sam before. And while the members of this rare impromptu general's morale meeting only played for chips, there was still pride at stake, and Landry's was about to take a serious blow.

After all, he didn't know that as Sam accepted Jack's invitation, the rules of the game changed. No one had ever told him that in this game three kings couldn't beat one queen - at least not when that lady was Samantha Carter, destroyer of suns and card shark extraordinaire.


	3. Comfort in the Familiar

**Comfort in the Familiar**

Fandom: Stargate SG-1

Rated: G

Category: Double Drabble. Teal'c POV.

Season: Ten.

Spoilers: Unending.

Summary: While stuck on the _Odyssey_, Teal'c takes comfort in that which he knows best.

Disclaimer: Just playing in the gateroom. Don't mind me.

Note: Written for the 2011 Ancient Obsessions December 3 Advent Prompt: Candles.

xxx

It has been many years since I have needed Kel'no'reem.

Tretonin changed so many things for me, but the necessity of sleep was one of the easiest to accept. Still, sometimes I fall back on the old ways. As I once told Daniel Jackson, there is comfort to be found in the familiar - especially in this place of endless monotony, where any respite is more than welcome.

Therefore, though I do not smile, I cannot help but be amused when Colonel Mitchell asks Colonel Carter for candles for the holiday dinner he has planned, but "only if it's not a bother to make them."

For even he should know that candles are very easy to replicate, requiring only carbon and hydrogen in a simple pattern. Colonel Carter could program their construction while unconscious. In fact, he could probably manage it himself.

However, he does not need to, for if he had but looked, he would know that candles are already in the _Odyssey's_ database.

After all, they appeared in my quarters the first week we were here. I did not request them, yet their presence did not surprise me, for tending others is her way.

Comfort in the familiar indeed.


	4. Surprising Scrooge

**Surprising Scrooge**

Fandom: Stargate SG-1

Rated: PG

Category: Friendship. Humor. Team. Jack POV.

Season: Any, but likely post-two and pre-six in my mind.

Spoilers: General Knowledge Only.

Summary: Some people might think of Jack as a bit of a Scrooge, but he's got other ideas.

Word Count: 742

Disclaimer: Just playing in the gateroom. Don't mind me.

Note: Written for the 2011 Ancient Obsessions December 4 Advent Prompt: _A Christmas Carol_.

xxx

You know, it's funny.

This time of year, I think a lot of people see me as a bit of a Scrooge.

Oh, how wrong they are.

I'm not Scrooge. Not by a long shot. I'm the Ghost of Christmas Past. No question. That's why I'm sitting here drinking whiskey and watching old movies that my son used to love with a bittersweet smile on my face - because I've gotten to the point that reminiscing isn't so painful anymore. Charlie's loss will always hurt, but I can have his pictures out now, and sometimes I can even hold on to the good days. December is usually one of those times, so I spend a lot of time in my head around the holidays, and my daydreams are always of days long ago. So, like I said, Ghost of Christmas Past.

Now, T? The next likeliest Scrooge candidate by reputation? Bah! No humbug, just bah! No way! Teal'c might be the serious one, but he loves Christmas as much as the next hundred and something year old kid. He might keep it on the down-low, but there's no question Earth holidays amuse him to no end, and I see him as the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come. After all, it's nice to think that when we're long gone and he's still kicking around the galaxy, he'll spare a thought for us silly humans this time of year. Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come indeed.

Next up is Carter, Little Miss Practical herself. She lives in a very different world than the rest of us, so I suppose some might think of her as a Scrooge. She might forget Christmas even existed if she had a hot simulation going. I can't even think about that without getting confused, but I can see how some might see that as downright Grinchy. But no. Carter's the Ghost of Christmas Present. After all, I've never seen her _not_ buy gifts at the last minute. Living in the moment because she forgot all about the holidays? That's Carter. As crazy as it seems that a woman that together in her professional life can be so scatter-brained at home, it's true. But she dances with the best of 'em once she gets to the party, so I'm sticking with Ghost of Christmas Present.

That leaves Daniel, excitement personified. The one person on my team that most would view as a holiday freak. After all, he loves religion, and celebrations and festivals are his thing, right? So you'd think Christmas would be right up his alley. But you'd be wrong. Of the four of us, Daniel is so Scrooge. Now, don't get me wrong. Like T, Daniel puts up a good front. He smiles and nods and says the right words at the right times - but then he rolls his eyes when no one is looking. He's subtle, but the annoyance is there. He snarls at pictures of Santa and growls at radios that dare to play Christmas music. Granted, he has his reasons. With no family to speak of growing up, his past Christmases were no picnic, and his future was stolen from him when he lost Sha're. And unlike Sam, who somehow mostly manages to live moment to moment, Daniel broods - a lot. He also really hates it when modern manifestations of ancient rituals get things "wrong," so he's grumpy this time of year.

Only one thing to do then, I guess.

I pick up the phone, think twice because I don't want to run the risk of drunk dialing, then go ahead with a call anyway. Carter doesn't answer, but my phone rings just a minute after I set it down. When I answer, I'm not even a bit surprised when she tells me that she didn't make it to the phone on time to answer because of some technical something or other she had going on and I just wait for her to finish before I speak. It's really the only way, you know. When she stops rambling, she finally asks what I needed.

Fifteen minutes later, we have a plan.

Teal'c is in on it ten minutes after that.

Oh, but this will be fun.

Next weekend, like it or not, Scrooge is getting visited by his ghosts.

Somehow, I think that will work just fine. Daniel usually only needs company to cheer up.

And if not, well, there's always beer.


	5. Freezing Point Depression

**Freezing Point Depression**

Fandom: Stargate Atlantis

Rated: PG

Category: McShep Friendship. Humor. Shep POV.

Season: Any, but post-one and pre-Sunday in my mind.

Spoilers: General knowledge only.

Summary: Freezing point depression is real, in more ways than one. Fortunately, so is the cure.

Word Count: 864

Note: Written for the 2011 Ancient Obsessions December 5 Advent Prompt: _Winter Weather._

xxx

I understood freezing point depression long before I learned any chemistry.

After all, I had salt under my feet four months of the year growing up.

And though I didn't know why, I knew it made things less slippery.

That's all I cared about. I was practical back then.

Still am, come to think of it, and though I know now that salt water freezes at much lower temperatures than fresh due to a chemical phenomenon called freezing point depression, I'm still just happy that when Atlantis' decks get soaked from high tide, it's less slippery than it otherwise might be on cold days.

And I'm really glad that we can't ever walk to the mainland. I'm well aware that a frozen ocean is a very bad thing for the life associated with it - and not just the aquatic kind.

Still, though, it's winter now, and I can't help but pine just a bit for a frozen lake or pond or even pool, so my own personal brand of freezing point depression has set in.

After all, my father didn't just insist on golfing lessons.

So when a water main breaks in a little used section of the city and I'm the first one to the scene, I'm not too surprised when a wicked idea pops into my head.

Rodney's hot on my heels complaining about other people complaining about lack of water pressure for showers, and he immediately starts grousing about the clean up that will be needed for this.

I let him rant for a bit, then interrupt when he pauses to breathe.

"Oh, I don't know, Rodney," I say. "Maybe it's not so bad. Look."

I'm hoping he'll understand what I mean as I point to the flooded pier, though I'm not sure he will.

Rodney leans his head to one side and looks at the small lip on the edge of the pier. His next words make it clear he isn't seeing what I'm seeing.

"Look at what? The lip under the railing? You mean the thing that will keep all this water on the dock for ages, especially since it's freezing out here? That thing?"

"Rodney," I say slowly. "Look. The water's mostly outside. It's not really hurting anything. And no one ever comes down here. And like you said, it'll stay here for ages. And it is freezing out here… literally."

I'm still not sure he'll get it, but he is Canadian, after all, so I'm still holding out hope.

Rodney looks at me funny for a minute, but then his eyes slowly widen and I can actually see the epiphany. He smiles a second later, and then he nods.

"Yeah. Yeah, I think that might work," he says. "It'll have to be deeper, though."

I smile back and Rodney and I silently watch the deck flood slowly but surely for a while longer. Once we're certain it'll meet our needs, Rodney calls a repair team in to fix the leak and clean up what part of the water soaked the nearby hallway, but he's sure to tell them not to clean up the mess on the deck.

"Nature will take care of it," he says, and I snort under my breath because he's right in more ways that one.

After all, winter is short here and spring is just around the corner. The water will melt then, but in the meantime, it'll freeze solid, unlike that depressed (and sometimes depressing) ocean. It is, in fact, the natural order of things. And since Atlantis managed to flood the one pier that somehow doesn't drain properly with fresh water and thus gave us the remedy for both kinds of freezing point depression, it's human nature not to waste it.

It takes a few days for everything to be ready, but that's okay, because it takes Rodney that long to sneak some skates through the gate.

I'm still not sure how he managed that, but I don't care. I have a sneaking suspicion Siler or maybe even General O'Neill was involved, but even if I knew that for sure, I wouldn't tell.

Just like I'll never mention that while you won't see him join in on the city's pick-up hockey games - while he'll always claim (probably rightfully) he has something far more pressing to do - my occasional midnight wanderings mean that I just happen to know that Meredith Rodney McKay is a demon on ice when he wants to be. Of course, they mean that I also know he's got insomnia nearly as badly as me, and that if Carson knew he slept even less than it seems, he'd never leave him alone about it. But I'll keep that to myself, too.

After all, Rodney's a friend, even if he's a pain in the ass, and he deserves his privacy.

Besides, if we ever manage that scrimmage with the SGC that Lorne keeps talking about, I might need the insomnia info as ammunition to force McKay to play, and if I let the cat out of the bag about his skating, I couldn't use him as a ringer back on Earth, and where's the fun in that?


	6. Who Does That?

**Who Does That?**

Fandom: Eureka

Rated: G

Category: Double Drabble. Humor. Vincent POV.

Season: Four.

Spoilers: Do You See What I See? (2011 Christmas Special)

Summary: Vincent is not a happy camper, and Fargo's going to pay the price.

Note: Written for the 2011 Ancient Obsessions December 6 Advent Prompt: _Christmas Lodge.*_

xxx

Of all the things that have happened to this establishment through the years, I think this has got to be the most bizarre.

It's also the most embarrassing.

Now, I'll grant you Café Diem has taken a lot worse damage in the past, but that's not the point. I'm sure most people don't even notice the currently broken corner of the front façade, but if they actually bothered to look, they'd see the teeth marks, and therein lies my problem.

Because seriously, Fargo _ate_ my café!

He. _Ate. _It. He chewed, swallowed, and digested it! Even as an animated character, who does that? Oh, I could strangle that man! That broken corner taunts me every time I walk through the front door, and I shouldn't have to use the back entrance to my own café just to stay sane.

It's too bad this is beyond my skill set. It's not like I can just pop up there and stick a gumdrop on with some frosting and call it good. I'll have to wait until after New Year's to get this fixed!

And to think I was going to make Fargo a gingerbread house.

Now, he's stuck with fruitcake.

_Store-bought _fruitcake.

xxx

*Okay, so I don't exactly understand the concept of a Christmas Lodge, and the alternate prompts/explanations were to use a party/ski lodge/cabin/whatever so I figure Café Diem works just fine


	7. Alternate Lyrics

**Alternate Lyrics**

Fandom: Stargate SG-1

Rated: G

Category: Double Drabble. Humor, Cassie POV.

Season: One.

Spoilers: Singularity.

Summary: Cassie's not buying the whole Santa bit, and she has her reasons.

Note: Written for the 2011 Ancient Obsessions December 7 Advent Prompt: _Reindeer_.

xxx

These guys must think I'm stupid.

I mean, really.

I might be new to this planet, but I'm not this dumb.

They seriously expect me to believe that some fat guy in a red suit flies all around the world and delivers presents to everyone… in one night?

Yeah, right.

Even if I didn't know a bit more about the realities of space and time travel than most kids my age, I'd have to call bogus on that one.

Still, it's fun to listen to their arguments. They constantly try to convince me that this guy is real, but even though I never budge, they don't stop.

And Uncle Jack is the worst.

Today, he even made me listen to songs all about this Saint Nick.

I think he thought that would make me believe him, but it only made his case weaker.

I can ignore the creepy factor of a guy on the roof, but when you throw in scientific inaccuracy?

Well, like I said, I know a bit more science than the average kid, and I just can't take it.

Because seriously, there's playing around and then there's just plain nuts.

After all, reindeer don't even have paws.*

xxx

*Pause and paws are very different things, you know. But they sure do sound alike. Ah, homonyms, how fun you are!


	8. Stranger Than Fiction

**Stranger Than Fiction**

Fandom: Stargate SG-1

Rated: G

Category: Humor. Daniel POV, featuring Sam and Vala.

Season: Ten. Takes place shortly after Memento Mori. Could be an episode-insert for Family Ties or stand all on its own.

Spoilers: Upgrades, general series knowledge.

Summary: Daniel overhears something that truly surprises him.

Word Count: 433

Note: Written for the 2011 Ancient Obsessions December 8 Advent Prompt: _Santa's List_.

xxx

Truth is, as they say, stranger than fiction.

My life is indisputable proof of that, but while I've experienced things that even now make my head spin, nothing could have prepared me for this.

I hear their voices long before I reach the door to Sam's lab.

"I don't know," says Vala's distinctive voice. "Technically, I should stay on base."

"Whatever," answered Sam. "I'll chaperone you."

I stop outside the door, knowing I shouldn't eavesdrop but too curious not to. Soon, I hear Vala again.

"I wouldn't want you to get in trouble."

Sam chuckles.

"Oh, please," she says. "Trouble is when you disobey direct orders to sneak off base for steak, cause a bar fight, get caught and reprimanded, then go rogue again to take out a Goa'uld base. And even that worked out okay, so I think we can risk a simple shopping trip."

Well, I can't argue with that, but apparently Vala can.

"I don't know, Sam… After last time…"

Her voice is hesitant, and Sam lets out the tiniest huff before answering.

"We'll probably be back before anyone notices we're gone. Besides, it's Christmas. Didn't you tell me you wanted to get a few gifts?"

"Well, yes," answers Vala, still hesitant, and I wonder when she decided to celebrate Earth holidays. I don't have time to wonder long, though, before Sam plays her trump card.

"I found a new shoe place," she says, wheedling.

I can almost hear Vala's resolve faltering from the hallway. "Really?"

"Yep. And they've got these adorable boots that I think would look really good on you."

A moment of silence passes, then Vala answers just as I expected her to. This time, I can hear the wicked grin that surely is on her face in her voice.

"I'm in."

Sam's voice contains that same evil mirth as she answers. "Sweet."

Next thing I know, I'm hightailing it around the nearest corner so they won't know I was there as both Sam and Vala leave the lab, bags in hand and purpose in their step.

Once they're gone, I creep out from my hiding place and shake my head in bewilderment. Never in a million years would I have expected to hear Sam Carter talk Vala Mal Doran into mischief.

And while I'm not sure that's enough to switch their places on Santa's famous list, I sure hope the big guy is watching, because surely this is a newsworthy day.

Sam naughty?

Vala nice?

If I hadn't heard it myself, I'd have never believed it, but I swear it's the truth.

Stranger than fiction indeed.


	9. No Substitute

**No Substitute**

Fandom: Stargate SG-1

Rated: G

Category: Gen. Jack focus and POV.

Season: Any.

Spoilers: None.

Summary: Jack realizes there's just no substitute for the real thing - in more ways than one.

Word Count: 300

Note: Written for the 2011 Ancient Obsessions December 9 Advent Prompt: _Holly_.

xxx

Like most people, I've used the same Christmas decorations for years.

Good thing, too, because otherwise I wouldn't use any at all. It's just so much trouble to put things out when it's just me. I know I wouldn't bother if I didn't already have the stuff, but since I do and since somehow a few folks always end up over here at some point, I put it out.

It's just the usual: little angels on the mantel, fake holly on the tables, yada, yada, yada.

Year in and year out, it's the same old thing.

Not this year, though. I actually managed to replace something.

Granted, that's because the fake holly literally fell apart on me, but that's beside the point. Honestly, I didn't mind replacing it. The real stuff I picked up looks so much better, and it's actually alive. I can put it out back in the spring and let it grow. Then I can trim off a few branches next year if I feel like it. That sounds fun. I might not be Mister Domesticity, but the Minnesota in me likes a real tree, and I guess there's no substitute for real holly, either.

It almost makes me wonder why I ever had the fake stuff - but only almost, because I know exactly why I never had real before. Lately, it was just convenience, but historically it was because I had a dog.

Now, I know holly isn't all that toxic to dogs, but after spending my first married Christmas cleaning up accidents all over the house, I learned my lesson.

I haven't had real holly or poinsettias or any of that since.

Until now.

And like I said, it's pretty.

I like it.

Still, though, all in all I think I'd rather have a dog.


	10. Litmus Test

**Litmus Test**

Fandom: Harry Potter

Rated: PG

Category: Harry/Ginny. Humor. Harry POV.

Spoilers: Order of the Phoenix, general knowledge. Set post-Deathly Hallows but pre-Epilogue.

Summary: Sometimes the simplest tests are still the best.

Word Count: 300

Disclaimer: Accio, Copyrights! Oh, darn. Wand backfired. Well, it was worth a shot.

Note: Written for the 2011 Ancient Obsessions December 11 Advent Prompt: _Mistletoe_.

xxx

Last time I kissed a girl under some mistletoe, she was a fantasy.

All schoolboy crush and no substance.

Because let's face it, no matter how much I thought it would work, Cho and I were never going to last.

She was part of the popular crowd, and like it or not, even with my so-called stardom, I wasn't.

I mean, my best friends in school were a dork and a nerd.

Come to think of it, that hasn't changed.

That says something about me.

And that something is that the popular crowd just isn't me.

So frankly I have no idea how I ended up here, kissing another girl - a super hot girl, for that matter - under another sprig of mistletoe.

I just can't believe this is happening, and though I try to hold on to that and live in the moment, my mind flashes back to that fateful day long ago at Hogwart's and before I know it, I chuckle just slightly.

Ginny hears me and pulls back to give me a funny look.

"What was that for?" she asks.

I shrug. "Just a funny thought," I answer.

She gives me the eyebrow, and I know I need to choose my next words carefully. After a moment of indecision, I settle on the simplest answer, which is actually just one word.

"Nargles," I say, and point upward, more than a bit nervous about her reaction.

Ginny is quiet a moment, and my nervousness reaches epic proportions. Then she laughs. And I mean really laughs. It's a happy laugh. It's not mean-spirited at all. I can't help but join her, and suddenly I realize my nervousness is gone.

Just as suddenly, I realize something else.

This is no schoolboy crush.

Oh, no. Not at all.

This one's a keeper.


	11. Thin Ice

**Thin Ice**

Fandom: Stargate SG-1.

Rated: PG-13 (language).

Category: Double drabble. Gen. Jack focus and POV.

Season: Any. Pre-Heroes.

Spoilers: None.

Summary: Jack's not as brave as he lets on. Of course, he's also smarter than he seems, too.

Note: Written for the 2011 Ancient Obsessions December 10 Advent Prompt: _Ice Skating._

xxx

I'd like to think I'm a brave man, and I've got medals that are supposedly evidence of that, but deep down I know better. I'm well aware that "serving my country" means being shit-scared half the time, and you'd have to be insane not to be terrified of the things I've seen.

So, yeah. I get scared. A lot.

But didn't Twain say courage is mastery of fear, not absence of it?

I'm not sure about "mastery," but I get by, and I guess that's what counts.

Of course, somebody else said discretion is the better part of valor, and right now I think they might be right.

Because while I really want to go home tonight, and while I know I'll be just fine, I think staying here might be better for my health after all. At least that's what ole Doc Fraiser's glare says. It also says that little Napoleon is a half step away from ordering me restrained.

That's a risk I don't have to take, so I make the only sensible choice.

I say "Yes, ma'am," and settle in for the night.

After all, I'm from Minnesota.

I know better than to skate on thin ice.


	12. Faker

**Faker**

Fandom: Stargate SG-1

Rated: PG

Category: Drabble. Gen. Daniel focus and POV.

Season: Any.

Spoilers: None.

Summary: Everyone thinks Daniel is an alcoholic lightweight. But is he really?

Note: Written for the 2011 Ancient Obsessions December 13 Advent Prompt: _Eggnog_.

xxx

Jack likes to tease me about not being able to hold my liquor.

And he's got a point, but not to the extent he thinks he does.

I mean, I've tossed back more than a few shots of Skaara's moonshine and done just fine on Abydos, so one beer getting me loopy here is mostly just me cutting loose, not inebriation.

But I don't mind a "lightweight" reputation. It comes in handy.

After all, I'm currently wearing an elf costume and belting out Christmas carols.

I'm doing it because it's fun, but come Monday morning?

I'm totally blaming the eggnog.


	13. Perspective

**Perspective**

Fandom: Sanctuary

Rated: PG (language).

Category: Drabble. Gen. Will POV.

Season: One.

Spoilers: None.

Summary: What a difference a year makes.

Note: Written for the 2011 Ancient Obsessions December 12 Advent Prompt: _Office Christmas Party_

xxx

This is one hell of an office Christmas party.

I mean, there's an actual sasquatch serving the food, and his offerings would make any chef green with envy.

It's insane.

But I guess that's my life now.

I mean, I hardly notice the mermaids anymore, and the real-life Two Face? Whatever, man.

I guess I accepted that I live in a comic book world a while ago.

Teleportation, sentient body parts, super bendy dudes - all routine.

What a difference a year makes.

After all, I thought it was strange when the boss showed up in a tutu last year.


	14. Crackers Don't Matter

**Crackers Don't Matter**

Fandom: Firefly

Rated: PG

Category: Gen. River POV. Mal focus.

Setting: Between the series and the BDM.

Spoilers: None. Though Inara has made good on her decision from "Heart of Gold."

Summary: River knows a lot more than most give her credit for.

Word Count: 357

Note: Written for the 2011 Ancient Obsessions December 14 Advent Prompt: _Christmas Crackers. _Oh, and thanks to _Farscape_ for the title, which gave me the idea.

xxx

I know a lot of things.

But this just doesn't make sense. How are we still doing this?

After all, everyone knows that all but two of the old nation-states of Earth-That-Was had fallen by the wayside before we left that place, and old England wasn't one of those two.

So how Kaylee and I are breaking that country's "Christmas Crackers" is quite the conundrum.

I have no idea how that happened, but I really don't care. These things are fun, so I'm all for it, however it happened. Same thing applies to how Wash got them. I don't know, and I don't care. I'm just going to dwell on the fact that this is fun.

Or at least it was until he came in late for some leftovers.

He tries to play off his tardiness by saying he had ship's business to attend to, but we all know he's just pretending he was busy so he can pretend he doesn't miss Inara.

He pretends a lot of things, you know.

Right now, he pretends we aren't bothering him, but I see the tiny flinch at the corners of his eyes every time Kaylee and I pop one of these things open. If I asked him about that, he'd say he had a headache and for us to knock off this infernal noise, but that would be more pretend.

Because I know he hates the sound of gunfire. More make-believe covers that up, but it's true. Not so deep down, it scares him half to death.

Kaylee grabs another cracker and holds out the free end to me, silently asking me to pull it.

I look it over, then slowly shake my head no.

"Maybe later," I say. "Headache."

Kaylee nods sympathetically and sets the cracker down.

"Ok, sweetie," she says. "I understand. We can do the rest later."

I nod my thanks to her and make my way down to my room.

We will do the rest later, I know. But I'll make sure he's not around.

Because he pretends enough.

He shouldn't have to ignore this, too.

Besides, compared to the captain, crackers don't matter.


	15. Payback

**Payback**

Fandom: Farscape

Rated: PG

Category: Drabble. Gen. Humor. Crew. John POV.

Season: Two.

Spoilers: None.

Summary: Payback really is a bitch, you know.

Disclaimer: They're mine, I tell you! All mine! Can I get a 'Hell Yeah?' No? Oh. Darn.

Note: Written for the 2011 Ancient Obsessions December 16 Advent Prompt: _Christmas Carolers._

xxx

I thought it would be funny.

And it was.

At first.

You should have seen D'Argo jump.

And the look on Chiana's face was priceless.

Rygel, predictably, just complained and shoveled more food into his mouth.

I missed Zhaan's reaction, but I can picture her muted irritation plain as day.

Best of all was Aeryn. I honestly thought she was going to blast a hole in the ship!

But then Pilot figured it out.

And after three days of involuntary insomia, I'm beginning to think that maybe I shouldn't have programmed that DRD to randomly play "Jingle Bells" after all.


	16. A Daniel Jackson Christmas

**A Daniel Jackson Christmas**

Fandom: Stargate SG-1

Rated: G

Category: Drabble. Gen. Daniel POV.

Season: Post-Movie, Pre-Series.

Spoilers: None, though a knowledge of Charlie Brown helps.

Summary: A little love goes a long way toward making things brighter.

Note: Written for the 2011 Ancient Obsessions December 18 Advent Prompt: _Christmas Tree._

xxx

That is one pathetic excuse for a Christmas tree.

But considering the folks who put it up have never seen one, they can be forgiven.

Still, it's hard not to laugh.

But only for a second.

Because when I see the bits of red, gold, and blue linen stuck to the bush's thorns, I know how much effort went into this, and when Skaara beams proudly at me, the tree looks brighter.

Turns out, like Charlie Brown's best mistake, this tree just needed a little love to shine.

Good thing we've got plenty of that around here.

Merry Christmas, Abydos.


	17. The Things We Do for Love

**The Things We Do for Love**

Fandom: Stargate SG-1

Rated: PG (language).

Category: Double Drabble. Gen. Family. Jack POV and Focus.

Season: Pre-Movie.

Spoilers: Charlie and Sara's existence.

Summary: Life often makes you do things you didn't sign on for. Even if you're Jack O'Neill.

Note: Written for the 2011 Ancient Obsessions December 15 Advent Prompt: _Bells._

xxx

I can't believe I got roped into this.

It's absolutely humiliating.

And the fact that Sergeant Myers is out there with a video camera isn't helping.

Seriously, I did not sign on for this.

I'm just here because David's dad got the mumps.

Jerk. Nice timing. Who gets the mumps these days?

And aren't these kids vaccinated?

Couldn't he have done it anyway?

He's got to be faking it. I know I would. He's probably off in the Caribbean or something.

Bastard.

Then again, he _did_ sign up for this. And he isone of those guys.

You know, the artsy types.

Maybe he is actually sick.

Maybe.

But still.

What about all the other parents?

Why couldn't they do it?

Why did it have to be me?

I asked Sara that tonight as we got ready, and she just laughed. She knew better than to answer. She knew I know damn good and well why I'm doing this.

It's because Charlie gave me his super sad eyes face and said please.

What do you say to that besides yes?

And so I'm here, at my kid's Christmas play, with bells on.

Literally.

Oh, the things we do for love.


	18. Road Trip

**Road Trip**

Fandom: Stargate SG-1

Rated: PG

Category: Double Drabble. Humor. Team. Jack POV.

Season: Any.

Spoilers: None.

Summary: You know what they say about the road to hell…

Note: Written for the 2011 Ancient Obsessions December 19 Advent Prompt: _Driving Home for Christmas._

xxx

I used to love a good road trip.

This particular one is just over a thousand miles of gorgeous scenery, and I've done it so many times that it's like an old friend. Still, the key words here are used to.

As much fun as this has always been, I think today's trip just might be the end of me.

That's a pity, really, because it seemed like such a good idea at first.

I mean, Daniel has no family to speak of, Teal'c's kin is literally a world away, and Carter's brother is traveling, so Christmas in Minnesota seemed perfect.

But Daniel asking "Are we there yet?" ten minutes in and him and Carter in the back seat spouting technobabble while arguing about the origins of Native American rituals for hours is enough to drive anyone mad.

And Teal'c's no help.

I swear he's actually Kel'no'reem-ing.

I'd love to join him. Whatever Zen he's channeling looks like some good stuff.

But since I'm driving, I guess I'll have to make do with the only thought keeping me sane right now.

When I get to Stillwater, cost be damned, I'm getting the Wonder Twins plane tickets for the trip back.


	19. An Acquired Skill

**An Acquired Skill**

Fandom: Stargate SG-1

Rated: PG

Category: Gen. Jack POV.

Season: Any.

Spoilers: Charlie.

Summary: In my job, there's a saying: see one, do one, teach one. Same applies here.

Word Count: 300

Note: Written for the 2011 Ancient Obsessions Advent Series. December 17 was somehow skipped, so this is my own prompt: _gift wrap._

xxx

I probably should've stepped in sooner, but you know how it is these days.

A strange old man offering to help a kid isn't always interpreted kindly.

But I couldn't let him keep struggling.

Especially since his task required more dexterity than his gloves allowed and it was crazy cold out that day.

By the time I decided to bite the bullet and walk over there, it was obvious his hands were numb, and he'd used up half a roll of tape. Actually, he was well on his way to finishing the whole thing off, and he'd only managed to make a mess of things.

That's understandable.

I mean, there's a trick to it. A trick most eight-year-olds can't see without being shown.

Fortunately, once they see it, they usually get it.

It takes a little practice to get it just right, but Lord knows I've had plenty of that.

So I showed him. He gave me a funny look at first (especially when I trashed his efforts and restarted at the beginning) but he let me help, and if the conversation I overheard the other day is any indication, he figured it out just fine.

His slightly stuttering voice floated out of a pack of kids at the park as I walked by, and I had no doubt he was demonstrating his new skill.

"First, you do the knob, like this. Make it as big as you want. Then do the ropey part. Then cover it all up."

I kept walking, but I smiled. It was bittersweet, because the last kid I taught that trick to is long gone, but I'm still glad I helped.

After all, somebody had to.

Because seriously, what kind of parent doesn't know that you gift wrap a hockey stick _after _you give it?


	20. Pack Rat

**Pack Rat**

Fandom: Stargate SG-1

Rated: G

Category: Double Drabble. Humor. Gen. Jack and Teal'c.

Season: Any, but likely later.

Spoilers: None.

Summary: If you examine my Christmas tree, you'll find no less than four ornaments based on the same sci-fi character. These things happen - both for me and for Teal'c.

Note: Written for the 2011 Ancient Obsessions December 21 Advent Prompt: _Christmas Ornaments._

xxx

I should've known when Carter said she took him to Hallmark.

A guy like him? In Hallmark?

That's crazy talk.

I should have put it together.

But I didn't.

Not until I popped by his quarters and saw the Christmas tree.

The Christmas tree covered tip to trunk with Skywalkers, Solos, Darths, Yodas, and, yes, even Boba Fett.

As I stared at it, Teal'c's deep voice sounded behind me.

"Do you like my tree, O'Neill?"

"I, uh, yes?" I answer, still flabbergasted by the number of Star Wars ornaments before me.

"You seem confused," says Teal'c.

My response is automatic.

"Ya think?"

T gives me the eyebrow and tilts his head to one side.

"I do not understand," he says.

"How'd you get so many of these?" I ask. "And what's with the duplicates?"

Teal'c actually smiles.

"I believe you will find the entire series there, O'Neill. Some characters have been covered more than once. Thus, the doubles. As for how I acquired them, I bought some in the store, but I primarily used eBay."

I blink at T's uncharacteristically long answer and only one thing sticks.

Teal'c's discovered eBay.

And he's got the collector gene.

God help us all.


	21. Better Safe Than Sorry

**Better Safe Than Sorry**

Fandom: Being Human UK

Rated: PG

Category: Gen. Humor.

Series: Any, but likely early.

Spoilers: None.

Summary: George is pretty sure Mitchell is teasing - but what if he isn't?

Word Count: 428

Disclaimer: Being Human belongs to the wonder that is Toby Whithouse, not me.

Note: Written for the 2011 Ancient Obsessions December 21 Advent Prompt: _Christmas Elves._

xxx

George stared at Mitchell, seated on the opposite end of the couch from him, with an open mouth.

"You're kidding me," he said.

Mitchell shook his head. "No, God as my witness, I mean it!"

"That doesn't mean much, coming from you," said George, rolling his eyes.

"Granted," snorted Mitchell. "Still, I swear it! It's true!"

"Mitchell…" warned George.

"What?" asked Mitchell, all innocence.

George gave him a look. "You've got to be joking."

"Why?" asked Mitchell. "You're real, aren't you? I'm real! Annie's real! Or are we just figments of your imagination?"

"If I imagined you," grumbled George, "I'd make you less of a twat."

"Well, there you go, then!," said Mitchell, beaming. "I'm real! And if I'm real, and you're real…"

George interrupted. "No, Mitchell. I'm not buying it."

Mitchell stood and put his hands up in a gesture of surrender. "Suit yourself, mate."

He then marched steadfastly up the stairs, leaving George alone.

After a long moment, in which George thought far harder than he'd ever admit to about what Mitchell had said, he called out to the kitchen.

"Annie?"

A laugh answered him. "Oh, no. I'm not getting in on this."

"Oh, come on, Annie!" whined George. "You're one of us! You've got to have an opinion."

"Oh, I do, do I?" asked Annie.

"Yes," said George.

Annie walked into the living room. "Well, in that case," she said, setting a hot cup of tea down in front of George and pretending to think hard before saying more, "I'm going to have to side with Mitchell."

Her voice was dead serious, and George looked shocked. "Annie! How could you? Seriously? I mean…"

George trailed off, clearly not sure how to argue his point and also stymied by Annie's hysterical laughter.

"Oh, come on, George!" said Annie in between bouts of giggling. "He was pulling your leg! Do you honestly think there are such things as elves here in the real world?"

George made a motion indicating himself and Annie, then vaguely gestured upstairs.

Annie stopped laughing and shrugged, then took both of George's hands in hers.

"George, look," she said. "I know Mitchell was just teasing you, but I'll tell you what. I'll ask my ghost friends, and if anyone so much as hints that he's telling the truth, I'll let you know. Deal?"

George nodded. "Deal."

He didn't believe Mitchell as far as he could throw him, but he figured there was no harm in believing in elves just in case. After all, with Christmas coming up, it was better safe than sorry.


	22. Lost and Found

**Lost and Found**

Fandom: Being Human UK

Rated: PG

Category: Double drabble. Gen. Angst. George POV.

Series: Any, but likely early.

Spoilers: Episode Six, Season One.

Summary: That which was lost…

Disclaimer: Being Human belongs to the wonder that is Toby Whithouse, not me.

Note: Written for the 2011 Ancient Obsessions December 23 Advent Prompt: _Christmas Day Celebrations. _Also, this one is for bluesolis. Maybe it'll still turn up. We can only hope. Sigh.

xxx

When I was turned, I lost everything.

My career. My family. Even my fiancee.

All gone, like my humanity.

I was forced into a life of utter solitude.

And lonely as that was, it worked for me.

Until the night they noticed me.

Until the night they tried to kill me and I tried to let them.

I might not have had much of a choice, with three of them on just one of me, but the fact is that I was just so tired of it all that I welcomed their terminal violence.

But he had other ideas.

Other ideas that changed everything and led to this very moment.

He's supposedly a legend amongst their kind, but it's hard for me to see that as he describes Christmas at the turn of the twentieth century to Annie.

She's hanging on his every word, and he's beaming with childish delight.

I can't help but smile.

After all, I assumed that when one's humanity was stolen, the loss was permanent.

Yet here we are, on Christmas Day, laughing together.

Huh.

I guess I was wrong.

Maybe it's true what they say.

Maybe that which was lost really can be found again.


	23. As It Should Be

**As It Should Be**

Fandom: Star Trek Voyager

Rated: G

Category: Double Drabble. J/C strong friendship implied, but take it as you will.

Season: Any, but likely early.

Spoilers: None.

Summary: Theirs was a special kind of arrangement.

Disclaimer: Why bicker about who owns what? Can't we all just live long and prosper?

Note: The Ancient Obsessions list fell two prompts short this year, so while I'm a bit late, I'm supplying two of my own in order to complete a full twenty-four advent fics for you all. This one was written for the prompt of "Christmas Colors."

xxx

She'd never been much of a believer.

Sure, the ancient holiday persisted, and many celebrated it in their own way, but while she'd grown up with it, she was far too reasonable an adult to participate in this "Christmas" nonsense now.

And so she donned her red and black, not any sort of red and green, as she stepped onto the holodeck for Tom Paris's annual holiday shindig.

As it should be.

But that night, long after the festivities were over, alone in her quarters, she opened a small gift.

He didn't celebrate the holiday, either, of course, but he also couldn't pass up an excuse for gift-giving.

The card was simple. The writing spelled out only, "Merry Christmas, Kathryn," yet it said so much more.

The use of her first name, and more importantly the fact that the gift was both given and accepted privately, was intimacy defined.

It was an odd sort of arrangement, but it worked for them.

She did not return the gift, and it was not mentioned aloud until four months later, but a smile and a nod across the bridge the next day were understood as well as any words.

As it should be.


	24. Word Play II

**Word Play II***

Fandom: Stargate SG-1

Rated: G

Category: Humor. Team. Gen.

Season: Pre-Eight.

Spoilers: None.

Summary: Jack and Teal'c have some fun - but is it worth it?

Word Count: 497

Disclaimer: Just playing in the gateroom. Don't mind me.

Note: The Ancient Obsessions list fell two prompts short this year, so while I'm a bit late, I'm supplying two of my own in order to complete a full twenty-four advent fics for you all. This one, the final in the series, is dedicated all to Deb, and the prompt is a real life lost and found. Also, this story is not a sequel to "Word Play," which was all for Taj, but I find the title too good not to use again and since those two ladies are forever linked for me, I think this works just fine.

xxx

Sam Carter wasn't used to hearing loud laughter in her lab, but as she rounded the corner and approached her door, she was surprised to hear just that. She paused for a moment to listen before entering.

"Oh, wait! Try this one," said a voice Sam knew well.

A deep baritone answered it, confirming both the first speaker's identity and its own.

"That is most satisfactory, O'Neill," said Teal'c.

Sam could clearly imagine the smirk that accompanied Jack's next words. "I know, right?"

Sam rolled her eyes. She wasn't sure what Jack and Teal'c were up to but she'd bet real money that it wasn't official SGC business, so she walked into her lab and interrupted them.

"Having fun, gentleman?" she asked.

Both Jack and Teal'c spun around and tried to hide their activity behind their backs, but it was too late. Sam saw that they were playing with the set of refrigerator words Janet had given her for Christmas. She stepped over to the magnetic dry erase board on her wall and gently pushed her teammates out of the way. One eyebrow rose as she inspected the handful of phrases Jack and Teal'c had made.

"Enslave your village" made her chuckle, while "end of the world" and "must rescue them" simply reminded her that she had work to do and that she really should kick the guys out. She started to say as much, but then she saw the last phrase on the board and her words changed on their way out.

"Really, sir?" she said.

Then she turned to give her CO and the SGC's most famous resident alien her sternest look - only to find them gone. A magician vanishing in a puff of smoke couldn't have done a more thorough job of disappearing.

Carter chewed on the inside of her lip for a moment before turning back to the board.

Her expression was one of deep thought, but for once she wasn't contemplating physics or math.

Instead, she was planning her revenge.

After all, SG-1 was scheduled to meet with General Hammond within the hour to discuss their next mission, and if Jack and Teal'c thought her briefings were long before, they were in for a special treat now.

Sam sat down at her computer to get her notes for the meeting in order. As she did, she smiled to herself.

She looked at the words on her board, and her grin turned wicked as she decided that she wouldn't cut out the section on celestial navigation after all - especially since the guys had also made the phrase "bring the fire." She intended to do just that.

It was a pity that Daniel and General Hammond would have to share in Jack and Teal'c's punishment, but Sam really didn't care. All that mattered was that after today, neither Jack nor Teal'c would likely laugh again at the phrase she fully intended to leave up on her board for all time.

"Brave another briefing" indeed.


End file.
